Gonzo Weaver (32)
Scott "Gonzo" Weaver owns a Tulsa Auto Electric Shop and has a knack for telling true stories of his adventures in auto repair. The following short stories are excerpted from his book, "Hey Look! I Found The Loose Nut", which provides a Good Laugh for Mechanics of Any Age. For more information, Contact Scott Weaver at
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and see his website at www.gonzostoolbox.com.
You can purchase his book from Amazon at: Hey Look, I Found the Loose Nut
The tow truck came around the corner of my shop with a 2003 Focus strapped down on the bed. It’s Stacey’s daughter’s car. Stacey is the office manager at the body shop just down the street from my shop. Her daughter’s little Ford had called it quits at a stop sign for a trip on the back of a tow truck. Now it was up to me to find out what’s going on.
The tow driver brought the keys in to Katie (my daughter and office manager), she had already talked to Stacey and had the work order filled out. Katie asked the tow driver, “Where did you drop it at? Stacey said it won’t start.”
“It started great for me,” the tow driver said, “I put it along the side of the building for ya.”
To view a pdf file of this article with photos, click HERE.
Everyone has a reason why they use a dealer repair shop vs. an independent shop… These are a few of those reasons I’ve run into over my decades of independent service work.
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Customers come in a wide range of styles. There are my regular customers, occasional customers, price shoppers,referrals, and friends of the family. Some don’t bother to tell me how they happened to be at the shop; maybe they’ve read an advertisement, saw a billboard somewhere, or they’ve checked out one of those websites that evaluate businesses by way of customer responses. Perhaps they’ve heard of the shop through the grapevine, or they might have just driven by to check it out. But I’ve never heard of anyone refer to themselves as a “dealer customer.”
Comparing Automotive Parts: Is it Apples to Apples?
Written by Gonzo WeaverAlternators, starters, voltage regulators, window motor assemblies, light bulbs, serpentine belts… the list goes on and on of the various cheaply made replacement parts available. Being able to distinguish what parts are good or bad is part of being a professional in this crazy world of automotive repair.
When a customer calls wanting prices on a certain job, more than likely this isn’t the first phone call they’ve made today. The way I can tell this is how they answer certain questions I ask to narrow down the options on that particular part or job. “What’s the motor size? Two- or four-door? Automatic or manual?” If these questions aren’t a hit and miss answer, chances are they’ve been through this before, and have a pretty good idea what the cost is, or at least what they’ve found out from the auto parts cheapo depot.
To view a pdf file of this article with photos, click HERE.
After high school I made the choice to join the Marine Corps. It was a big step for a young guy who really didn’t have a direction, nor thought about the future. So, off I went to boot camp. I’ll admit it was tough, it was physically demanding and very mentally challenging. But, I did very well, got a lot of good marks and even a couple of special awards.
One of the biggest surprises was when my platoon was on the “mess and maintenance” week. I was assigned to the commandant’s headquarters building. I was to shine all the brass, wax the floors, and general building maintenance. One day the Sargent in charge said it was time to mow the grass. He sent me and two other recruits out with scissors to clip the lawn in front of the headquarters building. Really, I’m not kidding…scissors, and I’m not talking about a large pair of scissors, no… more like the kind you'd find in any home office or school desk.
What If You’re Looking for More than One Waldo?
Written by Gonzo WeaverOK, I really do fix cars for a living. I take a car that’s acting up, locate the problem, and make the appropriate repair. Sometimes I haven’t a clue where to look when I start, but with a few proper tools, a little ingenuity, and a whole lot of experience I’ll find the problem eventually.
To view a PDF of this article please click HERE.
It’s like finding Waldo, that nerdy little guy dressed in red and white who travels a lot and specializes in challenging people to locate him. He sometimes hides in plain sight. You’ll usually have to look closely to find him. Except my “Waldo” doesn’t wear a red and white cap to give himself away. My Waldo is usually something to do with a component or part that has failed, or has decided to be difficult. I sometimes think that these weird repair jobs that end up at my shop are like an elaborate game of “who can find Waldo first?”
I’m not always the first guy to try and find Waldo. A lot of times a customer will take their car to a relative or next door neighbor, or they’ll find the cheapest shop or the closest garage in their area. I’ll hear a customer tell me they always go to a certain shop for all their repairs, so they think nothing of going to a specialist for repairs. But, when that doesn’t work it’s time to ask for a recommendation for a shop that can make the repairs. Now, of course, this isn’t true of everyone. A lot of people have a family mechanic they have used for years, while others believe the dealership is the only place to go for repairs. Whichever or whatever way works for each and everyone is just fine with me. One way or another somebody has to find Waldo.
Code Talkers: It Takes More Than Reading Codes to Be a Good Automotive Technician
Written by Gonzo WeaverDuring World War II the US used a secret type of language to send and receive messages, so the enemy couldn’t find out what they were talking about. They enlisted the help of Navajo and Comanche Native Americans as radio operators. These guys used a combination of their language and relative terms as a way to disguise the real message over unsecured radio waves during World War II.
To view a PDF of this article please click HERE.
Most of the coding was done by using a native word for each letter of the message. Such as, if you were going to say the word “ARMY” they would pick one of the native words that represented a word in English with the first letter “A” and the same for each letter after that. In other words the letter “B” would be sent over the radio waves as, “Toish-Jeh” which means, “barrel” in English.
So the word “ARMY” would have been transmitted something like this: “Wol-la-chee” (Ant) – “Gah” (rabbit) – “Tsin-tliti” (Match) – “Tsah-as-zih” (Yucca)
Thus the word Army would have been spelled out and easily translated at the other end. A lot of times an entire phrase could be stated with one word, or a word that was often used had a selected native word that was used as a substitute. Then on other occasions an English word was thrown in just to confuse the whole thing even more. It was quite ingenious, and believe it or not, the code was never—ever—broken. To quote General Howard Connor (while at Iwo Jima), “Were it not for the Navajos, the Marines would have never taken Iwo Jima.”
Trying to sound out those four Native American words (correctly) and translate it into the actual word was easy for these guys. They understood it, it’s their language and they could send/translate and relay an answer faster than any machine available back in the day. They truly were code talkers.
Charlie comes in every now and then. I guess you could say he’s a regular but I think I would call him more of an opportunist when it comes to his car repairs. He’ll go to an oil change place for oil changes, a tire shop for tires, a transmission shop for transmission, so on and so on. If there is an opportunity to get his car into a shop he’ll make an appointment and get it in. But, the one thing he seems to always use me for is the check engine light.
To view a PDF of this article please click HERE.
Normally, most people don’t pay that much attention to the check engine light unless it’s staying on. Not Charlie, he’s absolutely paranoid it will come on and stay on.
Somehow, some way somebody has told him that the check engine light is not a warning of a problem with the exhaust emissions or related engine/transmission problems but the precursor to a ticking bomb that will bring an end to his ride of rides. It’s as if the check engine light is the trigger to the doom and gloom of his car.
At times, Charlie thinks the check engine light has stayed on a longer than it should when he starts it up in the morning. This prompts an immediate phone call and a trip to the repair shop. With all these trips he’s seen me use several different code readers, scanners, O-scopes, and laptops that I have at my disposal to check codes and related engine systems.
A Picture Worth a Thousand Words Most of Which We Can’t Print
Written by Gonzo WeaverYears ago my younger brother came to work for me. He didn’t know a thing about cars, but was willing to learn all that he could. Teaching new technicians is an art that most shop owners have to learn to do, but teaching your little brother can be a chore and can test your patience.
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I muddled through it all and taught him what I could. I was sure at some point in time the two of us would butt heads like brothers will do, and he would take his new found skills and move up in the rank and files of the automotive technical world, but in the meantime it was his turn to learn from his older brother.
When he first started I would walk him through each step of how to diagnose a certain system in a car. A lot of times he would have questions, and I’d do my best to answer them. He learned quickly and was really sharp at picking up some of those little details that are harder to teach, because you tend to forget to mention them while you’re teaching—mainly because you are trying to get to the solution as efficiently as possible, and you neglect to bring it up. Such as: “always test your test light connection before testing what you’re testing, or don’t forget to check for all your tools before you pull the car out of the shop.” Things like that.
One day we had a truck come in with dual fuel tanks on it. The gas gauge wasn’t working and needed some attention. This was a perfect opportunity for Junior to learn a few of my short cuts on these old models. It was an older Ford, in which the tank gauge ran through the tank switchover button. It was rather easy to pull it out of the dash and connect to the gauge from the back of the switch.
Are We Crossing Into the ‘Outer Limits’ of Automotive Repair?
Written by Gonzo Weaver“Don’t try adjusting the throttle cable—there isn’t one. I can tell when it’s dark enough for the headlights. Your Air Conditioner is under my complete control, along with steering, windows, stereo volume and braking. Don’t be alarmed, I’m here to help assist in operating your vehicle. Who am I? Why, I’m your friend, I’m your PCM. Some people may call me a “Human Assistant Logistic” device—call me Hal for short. I like that name.”
To view a PDF of this article please click HERE.
I live in your main frame computer. Don’t try to over-ride me. I’ll reduce the power level. Program me without the properly dated software and I may never speak to you again. Push an amperage load in the wrong direction, and I’ll make smoke appear where you don’t want to see smoke. I’m tough as nails, but at the same time, as delicate as a flower. So be careful with me.
Now, does that sum up today’s PCM’s? I think it does.
With all the information being passed back and forth we’re no longer fixing cars, but doing advanced electronics caretaking.
Hal has a lot of control these days. He’s everywhere in the car, from the glove box to the transmission. We haven’t lost control of the cars we drive, but there’s no doubt Hal has taken over.
We are approaching that Space Odyssey of self awareness in computer systems.
Dealing with Angry Customers and Growing ‘Alligator Skin’
Written by Gonzo WeaverIf there is one thing I find hard to deal with in this topsy turvy world of the auto repair business is the way some people will react when they are at the repair shop. It’s the way they conduct themselves at the shop when it comes time to get their car repaired.
Over the years I’ve been praised and degraded. I’ve been called a saint and I’ve been called the devil (or worse). I’ve heard the shouting and the stuff I probably wasn’t suppose to hear (walls don’t always block sound you know). After a while you’ve heard it all before, and the attitudes that you see at the front desk become a part of the daily grind. Coping with all this is what I call; “growing alligator skin.” I try not to take things so personally, I’ll let the alligator skin handle it, and then take off my protective coat before I get back home to the wife and kids.
What gives with the need for such a thing as “alligator skin”? I believe there a several factors inherent to the automotive industry that brings on this crocodilian coat of protection.
Mistrust of the automotive repair world in general is what I believe is the number one factor; but what brings on that mistrust? Is it the incompetent mechanic? I doubt that is always the case. Is it the money out of their pockets which they were not expecting when they drove down the road to the repair shop? I believe it’s more in the hands of the unknowing consumer who reads and watches too many evening news reports on the unscrupulous business practices of the few out there that really are rip offs and not the normal operations of countless decent shops in this country.
When Something ‘Common’ Turns Out to be Not So Common
Written by Gonzo WeaverOk, who out there knows everything about automotive repair? Who out there has seen it all, and wouldn’t be surprised if something so common to do now turns out to be not so common? Well, one thing is for sure—it ain’t me. I learn something new about this crazy car business every day. Especially when it comes to the electronics in today’s cars.
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Even though I’ve spent a lifetime repairing these electrical nightmares that come into my shop, it still has its surprises. These days it’s not only the wiring, but some of the results I see from the scanners that can be just as unexpected.
My buddy Tom’s 2005 Cadillac Escalade EXT was having some problems. It’s a well kept, clean and in great shape ride. The suspension system was sending the driver its little notice across the dash message banner, “Suspension system service needed”.
“Sure, bring it in Tom. I’ll throw it on the scanner and see what’s going on,” I told my old pal.
I grabbed the Tech 2 with the CAN unit hooked up to it and headed to the car. Only one code, C0660 was stored—“Level Control Exhaust Valve”.
